It’s Friday morning and here at sleepy-tots we have our weekly business meeting. Poised with a cup of coffee (and a sticky bun!) we trawl the net looking for new articles, updates and research on infant/child sleep. Our first stop is Mumsnet sleep site to find out the “buzz” about baby/child sleep issues. Our hearts sink when we find comments such as “darling ds/dd didn’t sleep through until he was 2 – 3 – 8 years old”. What comfort is that to an exhausted mum of a 10 month old baby? There is a very common misconception that parents just have to “put up with it”. And there is no question in our minds that once any medical issues have been discounted such as allergy or enlarged tonsils behavioural intervention can make a huge improvement to LO’s sleep pattern. And we’re not talking CC here!
Maggie spotted the article by Helen Walsh in the Times Magazine (25.06.11) about the sleep deprivation she endured with her first son. Helen’s harrowing story of two years of sleep deprivation that nearly drove her crazy brought tears to our eyes.
Why didn’t she contact us we asked? After a lot of heated discussion we both agreed that “sleep trainers” have been given a bad press. Which is why at sleepy-tots we “teach sleep” not train.
If you’ve found this site it’s likely you have a baby/tot who isn’t sleeping and you are most probably exhausted. You only have to look at the numerous posts on sleep issues on Netmums/Mumsnet to see the extent (and confusion) about infant/child sleep.
Why do parents put up with it we ask ourselves? Sleep difficulties in babies and young children cause untold misery to thousands of families. But they are rarely talked about openly.
More heated discussion at sleepy-tots HQ! Is it because parents of poor sleeper’s feel judged and and black listed as “bad parents”. Is it because parents are made to feel inadequate or guilty by the “smug set” who have angelic sleepers? Or is it that parents simply don’t go to the right place or people for advice?
We all know that a baby/child who sleeps well is described as “good”. But maybe they are “good” because they are simply getting an adequate amount of sleep. And we all know that the likely cause of night waking, particularly in babies and smaller tots is their inability to drift independently from one sleep cycle to the next. And that’s usually because they have an association that requires parental intervention to return to sleep.
Some say that parental emotional availability at bedtime is a predictor of a good night’s sleep. For sure, even a small baby let alone an older child is going to “sense” emotional discomfort from their parent/parents. A happy wind down time in a secure environment is bound to help LO feel more relaxed – that’s common sense!
Human beings – even small babies have a natural propensity toward cycles of behaviour. Very often, as parents we help LO’s predict those cycles by the way we as parents react.
At sleepy-tots we help parents identify their behaviours in order to create change. Changing parents behaviour toward LO will change their behaviour toward parents.
When dealing with LO’s sleep issues the crucial thing is to get someone other than the primary caregiver on board to help teach sleep. Hopefully this is dad – although we have had sleep teaching success with help from grandparents or good family friends. In fact anyone you trust to look after your baby/child will break unhealthy sleep patterns and teach LO the ability to sleep.
The summary of research below identifies the importance of father’s in predicting healthy sleep patterns in babies under 6 months. Why do babies sleep better for their dads?? Maybe it’s simply because dad’s have no milk supply and are more likely to help babies settle with less intervention. Mum’s often feel that dad’s simply can’t look after “our” baby as well as “I” can. And yet the “our” baby is the crucial thing for mum’s to remember. Even if mum’s are breastfeeding it’s important to remember that dad’s love their baby as much as you do – even though they just can’t seem to get it right all the time!
Infant Sleep and Paternal Involvement in Infant Caregiving During the First 6 Months of Life
Liat Tikotzky, PhD1,
Avi Sadeh, DSc2 and
Tamar Glickman-Gavrieli, MA2
1Department of Psychology, Ben Gurion University of the Negev and 2Department of Psychology, Tel Aviv University
All correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Liat Tikotzky, Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, Beer-Sheva, 84105, Israel. E-mail: liatti@bgu.ac.il
Received July 21, 2009.
Revision received March 29, 2010.
Accepted March 30, 2010.
Abstract
Objectives The goals of this study were to assess: (a) the involvement of fathers and mothers in overall and nighttime infant caregiving; (b) the links between paternal involvement in infant care and infant sleep patterns during the first 6 months. Methods Fifty-six couples recruited during their first pregnancy, participated in the study. After delivery (1 and 6 months), both parents completed a questionnaire assessing the involvement of fathers relative to mothers in infant caregiving. Infant sleep was assessed using actigraphy and sleep diaries. Results Mothers were significantly more involved than fathers in daytime and nighttime caregiving. A higher involvement of fathers in overall infant care predicted and was associated with fewer infant night-wakings and with shorter total sleep time after controlling for breastfeeding. Conclusions The findings highlight the importance of including fathers in developmental sleep research. Future studies should explore mechanisms underlying the relations between paternal involvement and infant sleep.
Key words
father
involvement
infant
mother
sleep
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